Editing from other blogs number 3

Monday, August 13, 2007
What's the most mischievous thing you remember doing as a child?I don't ever remember being mischievious as a child. If I had to choose one thing, I would have to choose my grade 11 year. I was chosen as a cheerleader and that made me able to wear miniskirts which my dad forbade me from wearing usually. I'd walk home in my outfit just to say that I was hungry and didn't take the time to change. I loved being a cheerleader. Not only were we considered sexy, but we all loved the idea of wearing skirts. So sue me. Sheri1969
I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!
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Today is Mom's Birthday
On August 13, of 2007, my mom will be 62. Kind of hard to believe my parents are in their 60's already. It is sort of scary too. I cna't imagine my life without my parents. My brother has nothing to do with his family anymore. I haven't seen him or his family since Christmas of 2006. He's holding some sort of grudge but I don't know what it is or why. It sure would be a great birthday gift to mom if he visited her.
Mom is to visit me later today and help me with groceries. But I thought instead of eating out which costs money, I'd make a meal here. So I made one of hers and my favourites; spaghetti. I just a piece of garlic bread and some cheese on it. Though I am not sure she can handle the garlic without her galbladder. Oh well, if that fails, I'll get some Rolo ice cream and we'll celebrate together with that.
I'm writing in red because Fall is her favourite time of year and this colour is one of her favourites. I painted her a picture tonight for her birthday. I know she'll like it because it is similar to another painting I made her - the only difference being that this one is, of course, fall colours. That on top of the fact she is an avid gardener should amount to total success as a gift.
My prayer would be that my brother gets over his pity party and calls her at least to wish her a happy day. That alone would make her happy. I really wish there were no such things as grudges. They sure do hurt a lot of people not necessarily in the direct path of the begrudged. It hurts me to see both mom and dad hurt so much. May God bless mom this her 62nd birthday and make all her dreams come true.
Love you mom,
Sheri
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Thursday, November 16, 2006
Angry Woman
©Sheri Liegh Adams
ANGRY WOMAN
©Sheri Liegh Adams
May 15, 2006

“I’m sick and tired of living a single life! All he ever talks about is work and his truck! He never has any energy to help me with the gardening and shows no interest in it!” She rants on and on and wares down the person listening to her vent.

She’s been married for coming up on 40 years and the last 16 have been the worst. In 1990, a lot happened in the family. Her father-in-law died in January, her daughter had brain surgery in March, her son was married in April and her husband was in an accident with the trucking company he worked for in the summer. On top of all this, when her son got married, he of course moved out. Empty nest syndrome set in.

After about 2 months of her angry outbursts, her daughter moved to the basement of their townhouse and made her own little apartment away from mom and dad and their constant fighting. Plus she was tired of fighting with mom too.

Sixteen years later, and she is still ranting and complaining. If the sun shone for an entire day and the day was warm with a gentle breeze, she could still find something to complain about. She has gotten so used to complaining that many of her family members think she does not know how to be happy anymore. The only time she is happy is if she is putting somebody else down, whether they are present or not.

And there is one more thing that tilts the scale. It is okay for her to be upset and angry, telling people off, throwing hammers and laying guilt trips, but if anybody else gets upset, or is hurt and wounded, they are to “just get over it and stop wallowing in the mud!”

Never is she happy anymore. She hasn’t said one nice thing about anybody in so long that she perhaps has forgotten how to. She has a double standard but she refuses to see it. Oh, she asks for opinions, but when you give your honest input, she just gets mad and slams the phone in your ear.

It is no wonder she lives a single life. Her anger and resentment pushes everybody away because all she can do is complain. It grows very tiresome and has become and old song that nobody wants to hear anymore. Myself, I can’t wait to get moved away from the town.

At least when I move, the only way she can talk to me is by phone, and if I see it is her calling, I can let the answering machine do the work for me. My prayer for her is a revelation as to the way she has been towards others that love her but don’t much like her anymore. I pray she sees the truth of her ways and that she gets some help to understand why she is so angry and why she seems to enjoy hurting other people.

Until then, I will keep my space and only answer the phone if I am up to listening to the daily, never changing rant. God give me strength.

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Saturday, October 21, 2006
The Meaning Of Coloured Roses
Red RosesRed roses proclaim "I love you." They are the ultimate symbol of romantic love and enduring passion. Florists can't keep up with Valentines Day demand for red roses, which makes them especially expensive in February. Buy Red Roses Online.
Pale Pink RosesPale pink roses connote grace, gentleness, and gratitude.
Light Pink RosesA joy to behold, light pink roses express fun and happiness.
Deep Pink RosesDeep pink roses say "Thank you."
Lilac RosesLilac roses indicate the sender has fallen in love at first sight with the recipient and is enchanted.
White RosesPure white roses symbolize truth and innocence. They also send other messages: "I miss you" and "You're heavenly."
Coral RosesCoral roses express one thing with their passionate color: Desire.
Peach RosesPeach roses speak of appreciation, gratitude, and also sympathy.
Orange RosesOrange roses communicate enthusiasm and desire on the part of the sender.
Yellow RosesYellow roses indicate friendship and freedom -- so don't send them if your intentions are romantic and long-lasting. Yellow roses are also appropriate for sending congratulations to newlyweds, graduates, Texans, and new mothers.
Dead RosesRegardless of the original color, dead roses say "It's over" loud and clear.
COMBINED ROSESPut two or more colors of roses together, and a new rose meaning arises:
White Roses + Yellow RosesA symbol of harmony.
Red Roses + Yellow RosesA message of happiness and celebration.
Red Roses + White RosesAn indication of bonding and harmony.
MORE ROSE SYMBOLISMWhile roses are traditionally presented in bouquet form, these are also acceptable:
Single Red Rose"I love you" (but I'm not going to go broke telling you).
Single Rose Any Color"I thank you" (and I'm still not going to go broke saying so).
Two Roses EntwinedAn engagement or marriage is imminent.
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MEANING OF ROSE COLORS
I have read this somewhere and noted it for future use. Let me know if someone else have more to contribute to this list.
Black Roses signify DeathCoral Rose conveys desireLavender Roses symbolize love at first sight and enhancementOrange Roses indicate enthusiasm, desire and fascinationPink (Deep) says Thank YouPink (Light) Rose conveys admiration, gentleness, grace, gladness, joy and sweetnessPink Rose carry the message of happiness, gracefulness and gentlenessRed Roses symbolize sincere Love, Respect, Courage & PassionRed (Dark) Rose reveals unconscious beautyRed (Single) means "I Love You"Red & White Roses together signify unitySingle Rose in any color expresses simplicity and gratitudeWhite Roses express Purity/heavenly, secrecy, silence, innocence and charmWhite (Bridal) Rose symbolizes a happy loveYellow Roses indicate joy, gladness, friendship and "I Care" Yellow Rose with Red Tip indicates friendship falling in Love
The description after the color indicates how you feel about the person to whom you are sending the rose. By the way, black does not always mean that you wish the recipient to be dead; it can also be a wish for your own death, perhaps if you just can't live with the way the situation stands.
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I got this information from various sites on the web but I do not remember which ones.
Sheri Adams
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Sunday, August 27, 2006
Freedom For Prisoners
Freedom for Prisoners

By Sheri Liegh Adams
I’d like to start by introducing myself. My name is Sheri, I am 37 and have been a Christian since the age of 13. I am a survivor of more than 20 years of sexual abuse and rape. I have been abused by both men and women, but the one woman scarred me more than all the men together. However, I am NOT a victim, but a survivor. I am not being abused anymore. I may have the occasional flashback or other issue that arises when you have been abused, but it is just the memory of the abuse, not the actual abuse itself. I am a SURVIVOR, not a victim. I am not fully healed, but am steadily working on my recovery and healing with the help of Jesus Christ and good counselors. I know what it is to be in bondage and I know what it is to be free. It is my prayer that you learn the way to freedom through this message.
I have had this message rolling around in my head and my heart for quite some time now. Just down the road about 30 minutes, maybe less, is a Federal Maximum Security Prison that holds only 3 types of offenders: rapists, murderers and armed robbers. For the longest time now, every time I go past that prison, I have a longing and a desire to go in and tell the prisoners that are there that there is hope for them and forgiveness of their sins. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. That though they may never receive the forgiveness of those they hurt, they CAN receive God’s forgiveness. There is another way to live that holds hope, peace, joy and truth. But after speaking to my pastor, who is very wise, he suggested something I have never thought of. Perhaps I am being called to minister to those in prison, but not necessarily those in a prison building. Perhaps I am to write this message so that those who are imprisoned in their past, pain, misery, sorrow or other such prisons and chains. This message is for you.
I don’t know what road you have been down. I don’t know what steps you have taken. I don’t know what kind of a life you have had, whether safe and loving or tough and abusive. But if you are reading this message, you have been blessed enough by God to remain alive, which in turn means He has a purpose for your being here.
God cares deeply about all humanity equally - 28There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female. For you are all Christians--you are one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28, He longs that all would come to know Him and enter His Kingdom Luke 24:47 47With my authority, take this message of repentance to all the nations, beginning in Jerusalem: `There is forgiveness of sins for all who turn to me. Matthew 24:14 - And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then, finally, the end will come. But God also knows that not everyone will accept His offer of love and acceptance. Matthew 7:13-14 - You can enter God's Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose the easy way (which is to not follow Jesus Christ.) But the gateway to life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it. Not all will find or accept God’s will and way, but for those that do, there is hope beyond all hopes when you turn to Him for guidance, love, peace and forgiveness. Having said that, God especially cares for those who are hurting or in a captivity of their own.
Psalm 146:8 - The LORD opens the eyes of the blind.The LORD lifts the burdensof those bent beneath their loads. The LORD loves the righteous.
Matthew 11:28 - Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
If you are among those who are hurting or in a form of captivity, then I have some more good news for you today. There is freedom for all who are looking for it and for all who want it. But in order to obtain this freedom, you must do some things that may not be easy. We are to forgive and love those who hurt us - not an easy thing to even comprehend if you have survived a crime. But it is in black and white right in the Bible.
John 20:23 - If you forgive anyone's sins, they are forgiven. If you refuse to forgive them, they are unforgiven.
2 Corinthians 2:10-11 - 10When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive him (for whatever is to be forgiven), I do so with Christ's authority for your benefit, 11so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are very familiar with his evil schemes.
Colossians 3:12-14 - 12Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony.
Mark 11:25 - But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.
Matthew 6:15 - But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
These verses will be repeated later in this message to emphasize their importance.
If you have been the victim of any crime, you are held prisoner by that person. Either through memories, flashbacks, hatred, depression, anxiety, sorrow, etc. The flashbacks, we often cannot control, but the memories we can. We can ground ourselves, reminding ourselves that I am here in the present with my house and belongings surrounding me; I am not being abused right now at this very moment. Still, you are in prison because of those memories and flashbacks, and especially because of the hatred you feel toward the person(s) who hurt you. I know; I’ve been there.
If you are a Christian, you know that God offers hope, joy, peace, love, healing and forgiveness: 1 Corinthians 4-8 4Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8 Love will last forever
If you are not a Christian, that should hold some sort of good news for you. Freedom from the bondage of your past: Psalm 103: 11-13 - 11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear himis as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. 12 He has removed our rebellious actsas far away from us as the east is from the west. 13 The LORD is like a father to his children,tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
If you are not yet a Christian, all you have to do is confess your sins to Him and He will save you. 1 John 1: 8-10 - 8If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. 10If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. Romans 10:9-10 says - 9 For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.
First of all, let me tell you that you are loved, regardless of whether or not you are a Christian. So much so that you have a place waiting in Heaven for you if only you will reach out for the hand of Jesus. If you are loved by nobody on this planet, you ARE loved by God. God created you in His image and He was pleased with what He made - just read Genesis chapter 1. In fact, God loved you so much that He made a sacrifice that nobody else on the Earth since its formation by God has ever done or ever will do. God loved you enough that He sent His only Son to die for you in your place so that you could have communion with God, John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
See, when Adam and Eve fell, we lost our free and open communication with God. We learned what was right and what was wrong, and suddenly had a conscience - in effect, we found our free-will, and because of that, sometimes people make wrong choices. God does not demand that we go His way. He has given us the option go choose our way: Exodus 19:5 - 5Now if you will obey me and keep my covenant, you will be my own special treasure from among all the nations of the earth; for all the earth belongs to me. Exodus 20:6 - 6But I lavish my love on those who love me and obey my commands, even for a thousand generations. Sometimes those choices hurt them or others. By God sending Jesus to the Earth to die in our place, God created a bridge between sinful man and sinless God. He closed the gap between sin and holy. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him, should not perish but have everlasting life.” This verse tells us that God KNEW we were going to be a sinful people so He made preparations in advance so that we would not go to a lost eternity. His Son, Jesus, was the preparation.
A lot of the messages that Jesus spoke, were of loving God, your neighbour, your enemy and yourself. He spoke of love and forgiveness, more than any other topic. If you are a Christian, it is fairly easy to love God. How could you not when He provides everything we need, and sometimes more than we need. To love your neighbour, may be a bit harder, depending on how you relate to each other. But most often, we like the people we live next to and enjoy getting together with them. That makes it easy to love them. Jesus also spoke of loving your enemy. That’s where it gets a little bit harder. How are we supposed to love somebody who hurts us, wants to maim us or control us in some painful fashion? More than that, WHY should we? The why starts because God forgave us of our sins. If He is loving enough to forgive us of our sins, why would He expect any less of us who are born into a sinful world as sinful people?
Now, you may be saying, “but I was a good person. I didn’t assault anybody. I didn’t kill or rape or torture anybody.” Maybe not, but have you ever lied? If your answer is yes, then that makes you a liar. Have you ever stolen something, regardless of how small it is - like a pack of gum or a chocolate bar or change from your parents’ wallets? If so, that makes you a thief. Have you ever lusted after somebody you don’t know and in your mind imagined having sexual relations with them? If so, that makes you an adulterer. Have you ever had hateful thoughts about somebody? If so, that makes you a murderer. The list goes on. We are ALL sinners. I myself have lied, stolen, lusted and hated people. Therefore, despite the fact that I was raped, I am still a sinner. Just because somebody hurts us, doesn’t mean we are sinless ourselves. So, if God can forgive a thief, murder, liar and adulterer all in one person, then how would it be right that we not forgive the person who abuses us? You say that the abuse went on for years. So did our own sinning. How many times did you sneak out of the house to go out with friends when your parents thought you were sleeping in bed? If you got away with it, you felt a high, but always there was a fear that you would get caught. That’s called a conscience. And do you know what your conscience is? It is the Holy Spirit who warns you to stay out of trouble. It’s that gut instinct that says to leave this place. You don’t know why, but if you don’t, it later becomes apparent why He wanted you to leave. If you do leave and later find out what happened, you are glad you obeyed the Spirit’s leading.
So God forgave us and we are to forgive all others. John 20:23 - If you forgive anyone's sins, they are forgiven. If you refuse to forgive them, they are unforgiven. 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 - 10 When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive him (for whatever is to be forgiven), I do so with Christ's authority for your benefit, 11so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are very familiar with his evil schemes. Colossians 3:12-14 - 12Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. Mark 11:25 - But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. Matthew 6:15 - But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. And do you know why we are to forgive others? It is not for the other person that we are to forgive, but for ourselves and for God. When we forgive somebody who wronged us, we are obeying God, which in turn brings blessing upon us who forgive. We also find a freedom when we choose to forgive others.
Everybody has a best friend somewhere in life. You enjoy spending time with them, you smile when you think about them, you want to buy them presents at certain times of the year…In essence, you love that person and are therefore bound to them in love.
The same goes when you hate someone. You are so angry at them, planning revenge in your mind, that you spend your time thinking about them, spend energy on how horribly they have hurt you, you get angry, sad or vengeful when you think about them and you look for ways to get back at them. You’d never think of forgiving them. Because you hate this person so much, you are constantly bound to them. You have chosen to hold on to the pain, the sorrow, the anger and so on and by doing so, you have handcuffed yourself to them. That means they are with you wherever you go, whatever you do, etc. Love and hate have the same strength of emotion, just one is positive and one is negative. It is you who chooses which one you live with.
If you hate the person who has imprisoned you in pain, sorrow, bad memories, nightmares, scars either physically or emotionally, you are tied to that person. Everywhere you go, they go with you. You say, “but I don’t want to be handcuffed to them. I don’t want to be anywhere near them.” If that is your true desire, there is only one route to go. That is, you must forgive the person who harmed you and caused you so much pain. “WHAT???? FORGIVE HIM/HER!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! No, it is the truth, and the truth is what sets you free.
Forgiveness is often confused with survivors of a crime. We think if we forgive them, we are saying that what they did was okay, and that we are letting them off the hook. Actually, if we forgive them, it is US we are letting off the hook. Remember what I said about being tied to those we love AND those we hate. Well, we obviously want to keep those we love but we want to get rid of the trash and baggage of those who hurt us. To do that, we must forgive. When we finally decide to forgive those who hurt us, there comes a freedom beyond all words and expressions here on earth. To forgive the perpetrators, means we are letting them go into God’s hands. By letting them go into God’s hands, God can then work in their life. He may cause them to feel remorse for what they did. If not, God will judge them on judgment day. And God can do far greater damage as punishment than we ourselves could ever do. The worst thing we could do to the perpetrators is kill them. Then what? They don’t think about it anymore and we have sinned a great sin in God’s eyes, making us no better than the person we killed.
When you release the person(s) who hurt you, and it is a daily process, it frees you up so God can heal your pain, sorrow and wounds. If you hang on to your abuser, there is nothing God can do because you won’t let go of the abuse. But when you let go of the abuser and reach out to God, all you need to do is take the one step of forgiving the abuser and He will come the rest of the way. Over time, you will feel joy again. You will want to go out and do the things you used to enjoy doing. You won’t walk in fear and trembling. You will have the confidence of knowing that God is with you every step of the way, holding your hand as you go. And when the road gets tough and you don’t think you can go any further, God will carry you until you are able to walk on your own again. He is the Shepherd and He cares deeply for His sheep, and knows each one by name.
So, how do you forgive somebody who hurt you? You might say a prayer something like this:
Dear Jesus, I come to you in brokenness and sorrow and pain. My life is in ruins. All I feel is pain, anger, sadness with thoughts of revenge. I don’t want to be tied to _______________ anymore. Please take the chains off of my hands. I release ____________________ into your hands. I forgive him/her for the hurt they put me through and for the hurt I still go through. I ask you to forgive me for holding a grudge against him/her. I release them into your hands so that You may work freely in their lives AND my life. Please help me work through my pain and help me to get past it all. I thank you for my salvation and I thank You for giving me all this time to forgive the person(s) who hurt me. I want to walk in Your example, forgiving all those who hurt me in life. I now pray for the salvation of the person who hurt me. If they are already one of Your children, I pray that You would work in their lives according to Your will. Help me daily, Lord to forgive those who hurt me. Cause me to feel joy, peace, love and happiness again. Thank You for the chance to start a new life for myself. I now leave ____________________ in your hands to do as You would have done.
In Your Precious and Holy Name I Pray, AMEN.
Now, after saying this prayer, there may be an instant release. For others, it may take many days of saying this prayer. But in the Bible, God makes it clear that we are not to judge ANYBODY. Anybody includes those who have hurt you in some way. Give yourself time. It’s okay to be angry, but when your anger is over, always go back to forgiving the person and praying for their salvation. God will heap coals of condemnation on them that we couldn’t even begin to think of. Forgiving is a daily process, sometimes hour by hour or minute by minute. A saying I once heard made things a little clearer: “Mile by mile, life is a trial, yard by yard, life is hard, inch by inch life is a cinch.” So, if you have to take it one inch at a time, that doesn’t make you a failure. At least you are trying to do God’s will and forgive those who are your “enemies.” He will bless your efforts and increase your joy and jubilation in life. God blesses those who bless others.
Being a survivor of any kind of crime is not nice, it is a hard life and often a very sad one, but if you follow God’s word, let go of the people who hurt you and reach up your hands that were once tied to your abusers to the God of love, suddenly life becomes much brighter, lighter and happier. Maybe not over night, but in GOD’s time.
©2005 by Sheri Leigh Adams - All Rights Reserved

Continuing Posting from My Other Blogs

An easy crochete project for beginners
For beginner crocheters, it can be hard to find something to crochet that seems worthwhile. Here is an idea I thought of. Perhaps someone else had this idea first - I don't know.You need 2 balls of yarn, two different colours if you want an accent or one colour if you want it to look line one. You take the inches of a person's foot. My friend has a 10 1/2 inch foot. I crochet a simple granny square using a 6.5mm hook. I go around until I'm one round away from the length I am looking for. On the last round, you dc in each dc and you do 6 dc in each corner. For the spaces between the sets of 3 dc in the previous round, you crochet 3 dc.You do this for 4 squares.At the end of the 4 squares, sew 2 granny squares together and then sew the other 2 granny squares together.Take your 1 granny square, now sewn together as a double layer, and fold it in half. Sew up both short ends. Leave an opening for the foot to enter the slipper and sew up the remainder of the top of the slipper.They work up quickly and easily and make creating your first project fun and fulfilling.Please feel free to use this pattern idea for craft, gifts or even to sell. We all need money and we all need some crafts to give as gifts. Please enjoy.As freely as I have received, so freely I give. (The Bible)Sheri Adams
Posted by Crafty Sheri at 5:56 PM 0 comments
Labels: beginners, crochet, granny square, slippers



Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Why Do I Struggle and Who's Responsible?
It has been 18 years since I had my right temporal lobectomy. For those that don't know what that is, it's when the entire right temoporal lobe of your brain is removed. Why I had it removed was to control the some 20 seizures a day I was having at the time. I was on 4000mg of anit-seizure medications and I was still seizuring. My neurologist I'd had since I was 15 was at his wits end. He sent me to a hospital in London, Ontario for observation for Epilepsy surgery. After the first two initial visits for testing, I was admitted to the hospital on March 13, 1990. I was thrilled. I was 21 at the time. To think of even having a chance without seizures was a dream for me. As I got older, my seizures got worse.After exactly 2 weeks of observation I had the surgery. My surgeon gave me a 98% chance to be seizure-free without medications if they did the surgery successfully. I looked at my parents and they left the choice to me. I signed the papers. The sugery was still new...about 5 years old and so I signed papers to allow my research and my results, good or bad, to be used for their study. I'm glad I did. I know it has helped others. All, or at least, most research is done and done for good reason.I was never told of what the aftermath of the surgery would be. This is the kicker. It's now 18 years since the surgery and I am still without surgery and not on any anti-seizure medication; however, I have huge emotional difficulties.Nobody told me I was going to lose the emotion control centre of my brain. Nobody told me I was going to lose the organizational skills area of my brain. Short term memory issues, not a problem. I had that with the medications.Since the surgery, I have been in and out of psyche wards about twice a year since 1996. I now have 30 medical disorders, about 8 of them emotional. I didn't have these issues prior to the surgery. The thing is, I know that the hospital knew I'd have emotional issues. How? I wrote the psychologist of the unit a letter saying how my mom, dad and I were constantly at each others' throats and I was going through emotional turmoil. He wrote me back a 4-page typed letter explaining this was normal after the type of surgery I'd had. Funny? Nobody told us that!My family and I went through hell for 3 years with fighting, emotional turmoil, etc. We were offered no help at all from the hospital. They continued to test me for 5 years but never again offered any help for us.I had huge trouble sleeping. After the surgery, I was woken up every hour on the hour for one week being asked the same stupid questions: what is your name?, where are you?; what is the date?...I felt like holding up a sign with all the answers and saying LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!The operation was 6-7 hours long and I was awake for it. I still have nightmares about the operation. I have tried to contact the hospital several times for updates on what they have learned in the last 18 years. Do they keep patients awake for the surgery still? Do they warn them of the possible emotional trouble AFTER the surgery? Do they send them home with assitance to get by once they leave the hospital? Do they tell people the truth that the local anesthtetic burns like the fires of hell?These are not the questions I ask the hospital. I simply want to know what they have learned and what they have changed, if anything, in the last 18 years. Is that such a bad thing to ask? It's not like I'm out to sue anybody or anything. I just want people to know the truth...like I didn't.I'm not the only one who has had this surgery and then had emotional difficulties afterward. In fact, anybody I've met who has had it, does have emotional turmoil, is in and out of psyche wards and so on. Even on message boards about this type of surgery, MOST candidates who have had it still have emotional turmoil and organizational issues.I am not blaming anybody. I just want answers. I now struggle emotionally to the point that I self-harm by times. I kills my parents to know this and my brother just shakes his head. I still can't hold down a job because now I have more medical problems than before. NOT all as a result of the surgery, but of pollution, falling accidents etc. But the emotional problems I have, I've been told by doctor after doctor, is a direct result of the surgery and something I will deal with the rest of my life.Was the surgery worth it? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes, but going home and getting IMMEDIATE SUPPORT for both me and my family members. I'm not the only one who suffered in my family after the surgery.I blame part of my problems on the hospital I was in and the fact that the staff did not tell me what they KNEW. I knew memory would be an issue, and some motor skills might be an issue. But NOBODY said anything about emotional issues.I also blame the Church. I'm a Christian of 26 years and for the 15 years I have lived on my own, I've been asking for rides to Pentecostal churches. In 15 years, I've had maybe 3 rides. Even calling the churches where I live now, I get sarcastic responses from one pastor. "You never called here!" Yes, I did. "Well, you didn't talk to me!" No, I couldn't get past your secretary.When I call for rides to the churches, their responses are most often, "I'm sorry; we don't arrange rides for people" or "we don't give people rides." They don't give people rides? They don't help people get to church? They turn people looking to get into church away?Pardon me but, didn't Jesus say, "If you have not done it to the least of these, you have not done it unto me."? If they refuse me a ride, they are basically refusing Jesus a ride.Even contacting the head of the Pentecostal churches in Canada, I got no response other than, "we are sorry for the issues you are dealing with but are not in a place to have various churches arrange rides." In other words, "we don't give two hoots!"I believe if I was in a church with supportive people of like faith, I would not struggle as much. We grow stronger, or weaker, by the people we hang around. I grew up in the church and I miss it dearly. I'd love to go to a Sunday morning worship service, but because people don't care anymore, I don't get out. The buses don't run early enough or late enough for me to get to one, so that option is out. I can't afford taxi fair these days so that too is out.Thank God for Joel Osteen. I watch him and am encouraged. Thank God for Steve Wilkos who stands up for people who have been taken advantage of in some way and lets them have their say. Thank God for the Canadian Mental Health Association who, without, I don't honestly know I'd be here without. Thank God for my parents who have stood by me through thick and thin. And thank God that He doesn't not give rides. Thankfully HE will do anything, to the point of His Only Son's death, to help us. These are the people who have kept me going.Why do I struggle? Partly because of the lack of help available. Partly because the hospital was not upfront and completely honest with me. Partly because they did not help me and my family after the surgery properly. Partly, the church because they don't help the orphans, widows, poor... And likely, partly me because I get completely frustrated by times and give up...literally. I know God never gives up on me therefore I should not.I am not saying don't have the surgery. I'm not saying all churches are like the ones I'm talking about. I'm not slamming Christianity or anybody in particular, but finally venting what I've been dealing with for 18 years.The surgery was successful in that I have no more seizures. It was not successful in that I am not the "well person" I thought I'd be after it. The church is failing to meet the needs of the people in their communities and I believe they will pay for it in the end.God bless the doctors, pastors and others who care enough to get involved in the lives of those who are in turmoil from such things as these. I have a wonderful family doctor and great parents. I have a hero in Steve Wilkos, the now retired Christian bands Petra and Whiteheart and also in myself for overcoming so much more than is in this note.If you ever have surgery, find out ALL the options, good and bad. Ask about success rates, failure rates, outcomes, side effects short term and long term. Be informed and question them until they are blue in the face. I have found out doctors don't always tell all they know and patients would be well off, better off, if they did.Sheri Adams
Posted by Sheri L. Adams at 9:58 PM 0 comments
Labels: Christian, churches, emotions, epilepsy, God, heros, seizures, support, surgery

From a Previous Blog Site

I'm in the process of putting ALL my blogs into one, so the things you see here you may have seen on another site, I hope that will soon be gone.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Random Thoughts And Current Events
Random Thoughts And Current Events - WHAT IS TRUE BEAUTYWHAT IS TRUE BEAUTY?©Sheri Liegh AdamsJune 7, 2006According to Dictionary.com, Beauty is defined as:The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.One that is beautiful, especially a beautiful woman.A quality or feature that is most effective, gratifying, or telling: The beauty of the venture is that we stand to lose nothing.An outstanding or conspicuous example: “Hammett's gun went off. The shot was a beauty, just slightly behind the eyes” (Lillian Hellman).Most often, when people think of beauty, they think of looks, appearances and what they see. But isn’t there more to beauty than just looks? I could get 10 different people to look at the same picture and I would likely get 10 different opinions and insights to what they saw. I believe that beauty is a personal thing. And I say “thing” because beauty is not just about looks. Beauty encompasses all of the senses of the human body. For those that have all their senses functioning normally and in a healthy fashion, we can experience beauty in a wide array of venues. We can SEE beauty in the flowers, trees, landscapes, faces and sunsets through our eyes. There is so much beauty in nature alone that it would overwhelm the soul to consider all that encompasses the beauty of being able to see. We can FEEL beauty in the softness of a rose petal, or the warmth of the Summer sun. We can feel beauty when we hold hands with our loved ones. We feel beauty when we take care of ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually. We are more happy which makes us FEEL beautiful when we take pride in ourselves. We can HEAR beauty all around us. Open your window and listen to the song of the Robin. Sit outside where the children are playing and listen to their innocent giggles. Listen to the raindrops fall on the ground on a warm Summer’s day. Beauty can be heard in many forms from the birds in the air to the voices in a choir. All we have to do is open our ears and we will be sung a chorus of beauty.Believe it or not, we can TASTE beauty. I always say there is nothing like Mom’s home cooking. I can cook myself a meal and be satisfied with that, but when it comes to Mom’s home cooking, you just can’t beat it. Perhaps it is because Mom made it that makes it taste so special. Maybe she has a secret ingredient that she does not tell me about. But it does not matter what she makes, whether it is beans and wieners or a roast with all the trimmings, it always tastes beautiful.And how can we forget our sense of SMELL!!! There are so many fragrances out in the summer alone that it is almost overwhelming. I would suggest that for those with severe allergies, it may not be so beautiful, but I LOVE Summer because it has so many varied smells to enjoy. Roses, lilacs, lilies, rainfall, and even chlorine in a pool is a wonderful scent to me. And in winter, the air is so crisp and fresh that if we inhale too quickly, our noses freeze for a moment, but it is worth it to smell the clean air and fresh air from being locked inside a closed in, stuffy apartment for a few days.For every person, beauty is going to be something different. Those who are blind, may never SEE the physical beauty, but their other senses will have them captivated if they will only open up to them much like Helen Keller did when she finally figured out what it was her Teacher was trying to get across to her. Helen was blind, mute and deaf, and yet she found beauty all around her when she realized what everything was.For someone who is deaf, to be able to see and to be able to use their hands to talk is a sign of beauty. They take in much more than those of us who have all our senses in tact. I think sign language is beautiful. As a Christian, it adds to the spiritual experience when you are able to sign the songs and hymns of praise to God. It not only becomes a verbal expression of our love for God, but a physical expression as well that creates a kind of dance of praise.Beauty cannot be solely defined as something somebody sees. If it was, then many that I have mentioned would never experience it. If beauty were only for the eyes, then what of the blind people? Do they not experience beauty in their lives? I dare say they do as I have known many and I don’t think I’ve ever met happier people. Does that not mean that they too experience beauty in their own way?And aside from our senses, can we not find beauty in personalities? Honesty, gentleness, truthfulness, love, peace and so on. All of these give us a sense of beauty. You would not want to be around somebody who lies, is rough, full of hate and so on because it would cause negative feelings. All the positive qualities you can think of are beautiful in and of themselves, but especially if bundled together to create a person’s persona. I could ramble on about beauty, but again, it all goes back to a personal choice of what YOU believe is beautiful. Just as one person may admire this piece of writing, somebody else may think it horrible. It is the difference of opinion and the freedom to have that difference of opinion that I too think is beautiful. Freedom is beautiful. It gives YOU the chance to decide for yourself what you think has beauty. If you were asked what was beautiful to you, do you know how you would respond? Think about it and then be grateful that you can experience it the way you enjoy. And always remember, YOU are beautiful in your own unique way!


Random Thoughts And Current Events
WHAT DEPRESSION FEELS LIKE©Sheri Leigh Adams October 2006I am more than sure that there are people out there who have experienced depression. Yet for the few fortunate who never experience this crippling disorder, I want to explain what it feels like. Why would I want to explain what it feels like? The best answer I can give you is because there is still a huge negative stigma attached to any mental illness and somehow, somebody has to start talking about it so the stigma dies and people are understood and not judged.I have been dealing with depression for over 10 years now. I have been tried on more than 60 different pills and combinations of pills and they are still working on finding the right combination. It is draining and tiring to go through so many changes in the short time I have gone through them. It really wears on a person’s body.People who are depressed often times feel hopeless like there is no future for them. They may feel like there is no reason to get up in the morning. Some may choose to not eat while others will overeat which is called emotional eating. You eat to make you feel better, then you feel guilty about overeating so you eat some more. It is a continuous cycle. Some people are so depressed that they cannot even leave their homes. They have what is called agoraphobia. And a person can have agoraphobia, the fear to go anywhere, to the most severe degree which is they can never leave their home, to the tiniest form of being afraid to use public transit or be in rooms or other places where people are – aka social phobia.Depression can cause physical pain. You get all slumped over and before you know it, your back is hurting, you get headaches, you become weak and limp. TV’s go off, music is shut right now and the couch is your only friend.Medications are often used to try and treat depression and if the right pill or combination of pills are found, that person is very fortunate that they have found the correct “cocktail” to make them feel better and are able to get back to LIVING life.Depression can affect anybody, any age, gender, race etc. It is not biased and when it does finally appear, the person feels worthless and useless. They feel guilty for taking the time to try and get better because in their minds, they feel that they should be helping others, not themselves. Guilt is a huge issue in depression.If you know somebody with depression of any sort, try and be there for them. Offer them support when they are down. Invite them out or over for a coffee. Don’t become a doormat for them, but at least let them tell you how they are feeling. You really cannot do anything to help them but listen and support them in whatever they decide, and if you see sings of danger such as signals that they are going to give up on life, call the police and talk to them. They will know what to do.If you have depression, work at helping yourself. Write out how you are feeling, colour, draw, exercise, talk to friends, volunteer somewhere… There is always something you can do to help yourself – but you have to be WILLING TO TRY. Don’t give up, because if you can get through the valley moments, the mountain moments will be worth so much more. The only failure in life is to not try.


Random Thoughts And Current Events
Random Thoughts And Current EventsFORGIVENESSJune 28, 2004There is much to be said about forgiveness and the impact it has one each life. The Bible holds hundreds of examples of people who have experienced first-hand, being forgiven of wrongful deeds: King David, Peter the disciple when he denied knowing Jesus three times, the woman caught in adultery, Paul who murdered hundreds of Christians before his conversion, Cain who killed his brother Abel because Abel’s sacrifice was accepted and Cain’s was not are just some to name a few who experienced the forgiveness of God in their life first-hand.The sole purpose behind the come of Jesus Christ as a human was that He died as an atonement for our sins. He hung on the cross in our place. By all rights, WE should be the ones hanging on the cross. After all, Jesus was WITHOUT ANY SIN, but we were born into sin, yet it was Jesus who died and it is us who live. “If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth,” 1 John 1:8. “For all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious standard,” Romans 3:23. 1 Peter 2:22, “He (Jesus) never sinned, and He never deceived anyone.” It goes on to say in vs 23-24, “He did not retaliate when He was insulted. When he suffered, He did not threaten to get even. He left His case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. He personally carried away our sins in His own body on the cross so we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. you have been healed by His wounds!” Again in 2 Corinthians 5:21, it says, “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” And again in 1 John 3:5, “And you know that Jesus came to take away our sins, for there is no sin in Him.” Notice that it says there IS NO SIN IN HIM. That means that Christ remains sinless and pure.So we have concluded that we are the sinful ones and that Christ was and is blameless. It was for the forgiveness of our sins that Jesus came and died. In Hebrews 9:22 we find that there would be no forgiveness if Jesus hadn’t shed His blood. “Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins.” Colossians 1:14 tells us that we are free because of the shed blood of Jesus and the forgiveness He gives us. Jesus died so we could be forgiven, plain and simple.In today’s society, when you bring up the topic of forgiveness, it can and it may start a heay discussion, or even an argument. Many cultures, religions and sects don’t believe that forgiving others is a requirement of the way we live. If they took a closer look at the Word of God, they would discover their error in the way they think.In 1 John 1:8-9 we are told to recognize sin and ask for God’s forgiveness. No one deserves to be forgiven (Ps. 130:3-4 “Lord, if you kept a record of our sins, who, O Lord, could ever survive? But You offer forgiveness that we might learn to fear you.”) But when we ask for forgiveness, we are freely given it – all because Jesus died on the cross, bearing our sins, and then rose to Heaven.the Bible tells us that we are made white as snow when God forgives us (Is. 1:18). When we turn away from sin, we find forgiveness (Luke 3:3). Try and understand – we have already been forgiven of EVERY SIN IN OUR LIFE if you believe in Jesus! That means if you have said the sinner’s prayer and you truly meant it in your heart then ALL of your sins – past, current and the ones you will yet commit, have already been forgiven – completely!!! And once God forgives you of your sins, He does not remember them (Ps 103:12) As humans, it is next to impossible to forget, but God can do all things. Once He forgives us, He won’t remember what our sin was. When He looks at us, all He sees is the blood of His Son, He sees us as spotless, blameless, pure, forgiven and whole. Awesome, huh?Just as we trust in Christ for forgiveness (Acts 13:38-39), so we also trust that those we offend will forgive us. In fact, we are COMMANDED to forgive those who sin against us! Jesus spoke of it clearly: Luke 6:37 – Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others, or it will all come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven.” Matthew 6:14 – “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” It is quite clear that we are commanded to forgive us in order that we, ourselves, might be forgiven also.We are even told how often we are to forgive someone who offends us. Matthew 18:21-35 tells us that we are to forgive 70 times 7 times. That means that we are to forgive EACH sin up to 490 times each day! That means if someone lies to us, we are to forgive that person up to 490 times for the same lie in one day. And, to add to the pot, if we DO NOT forgive those who hurt us, that person will remain unforgiven by God as well (John 20:23).In my life, I have had to learn, the very hard way, the peace that forgiveness of others offers. Growing up, I was sexually abused. On more than a dozen occasions, both men and women have sexually abused me. Some of my assailants were male and some were female. I’ve been abused by both genders. The abuse started when I was 3 and the last assault took place when I was 28 – I am currently 35.For years, I was angry, bitter, hateful and vengeful. I could only think of making my assailant’s lives as miserable as mine currently was. I’d been in and out of psychiatric wards on a regular basis. I’ve been through years of counselling. Then one day, forgiveness was explained this way to me: Loving somebody is like being handcuffed to them. You would do anything for them and would go anywhere for them. In this way, you are connected to them like you were handcuffed. You go where they go. So to it is when you hate someone or don’t forgive someone. When you hate somebody so much that your anger and bitterness rule your life – you think about them daily, you curse them daily, you let them ruin a good day when you think of them – you hate so much that you are again tied/handcuffed to them. Think about it…by loving someone totally, you are willingly being tied to that person. By hating someone to the same extent, and giving them the time and energy and thoughts in your day, you are STILL cuffed to them. Because you choose to not forgive them, but hold them accountable for what they did wrong to you, you keep them right there next to you. Because you never let them go, you, yourself, can never be free of the pain they caused you. In this way, they remain with you wherever you go, whatever you do. BUT, if you forgive them, then you too are freed from the bondage of that experience. God will be able to forgive that person for the sin they committed against you ONLY when you have forgiven them in your heart. Remember, if you do not offer forgiveness to others, God will not offer forgiveness to you!The Bible tells us over and over that we are to forgive each other: Col. 3:13, John 20:23, Luke 6:37, Matthew 6:14….We are to treat each other like this: Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behaviour. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Eph 4:31-32.The sole purpose of Jesus’ birth, death and resurrection, was to provide a bridge between us the sinful human race, and God, the holy, blameless, eternal God of all that is good.Col 2:13-14 tells us when Christ forgives us, that ALL our sins and debts are cancelled – For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to a new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ. He forgave all our sins. He cancelled the record that contained the charges against us. He took it and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ’s cross. When He nailed our sins to the cross, He remembers them no more.If He was able to forgive us, even while He died on the cross because of our sins (Luke 23:26-49, especially verse 34) then who are we to do any less? Why should any less be expected of us as sinners? Christ loved and forgave us – and continues to do so - He commanded that we do the same – for both our friends AND for our enemies! To be forgiven is to be blessed…to forgive someone is also to be blessed by God. What you expect, give in return.Michael W. Smith – Secret AmbitionYoung man, up on the hillside, teaching new waysEach word, winning them over, each heart a kindled flame.Old men, watch from the outside, guarding their prey,Threatened by the voice of a paragon, leading their lambs away…leading them far away.Nobody knew His secret ambitionNobody knew His claim to fameHe broke the old rules steeped in traditionHe tore the Holy Veil away.Questioning those in powerful positionsRunning to those who called His nameBut nobody knew His secret ambitionWas to give His life away.His rage, shaking the templeHis word to the wiseHis hand, healing on the seventh dayHis love wearing no disguise.Some say death to the radicalHe’s way out of lineSome say, praise be a miracleGod sends a blessed sign…a blessed sign for troubled times.Nobody knew His secret ambitionNobody knew His claim to fameHe broke the old rules steeped in traditionHe tore the Holy Veil away.Questioning those in powerful positionsRunning to those who called His nameBut nobody knew His secret ambitionWas to give His life away.Nobody knew His secret ambitionNobody knew His claim to fameHe broke the old rules steeped in traditionHe tore the Holy Veil away.Questioning those in powerful positionsRunning to those who called His nameBut nobody knew His secret ambitionWas to give His life away.


What Languge Do YOU Speak?
WHAT LANGUAGE DO YOU SPEAK?© Sheri Liegh AdamsOctober 5, 2004Chances are if you are reading this, you understand and speak the English language. In our society, so full of multi-culturalism and constant immigrants, our language barrier is continually growing and expanding. In Canada alone, we hear English, French, Chinese, Italian, Spanish, Russian, German and many, many others. I,, personally, love listening to all the different languages. It is like poetry to my ears. When I attended an adult high school in London, Ontario, where I lived for 8 years, I used to sit and listen to all the people talk on the bus on my way home, and I thought of how pretty the air sounded. I often smiled on the inside, and sometimes, even on the outside, when listening!Now, I do not know a thing about what they were saying. The only language I speak and understand well is English. I understand a very small amount of French and I have enough knowledge of the American Sign Language to talk with deaf people. I don not know if it was sad news they were discussing, or about school, or if they were cursing the ground someone was walking on. Sometimes I just closed my eyes and listened to the poetry of the different sounds. It was just beautiful! However, another language too often interrupted all the beauty of this verbal poetry. This language has become far too common in our times. This is my personal opinion, of course. Cursing, cussing, profanity, vulgarity, sexism, racism…the list is endless. Nowadays, our children, teens and even adults are speaking a language that only 15-20 years ago was taboo and shocking, to say the least.Have you ever stopped to listen to people when you are out in public? I would wager that it would not take too long before you hear the F word. It seems to be the most common, especially among young people. “What the F” was that for?” “Get the F out of here before I knock your block off,” “F off! Or I’ll knock you down!” And so on. I wonder how hard it would be for a person that uses this word on a frequent basis – every sentence or so – to go one whole week without saying it. How hard do you think it would be for them to clean up their chatter? How hard would it be for you!? I think there are some people out there who would not know how to carry on a conversation properly without it. It has become a standard in our spoken language.The “F” word is not the only rude and vulgar word commonly used. Others (and I refuse to spell them all out, but I am sure you are smart enough to get the drift) would include:G*d-damnJ*s*s Chr*stA**holeSOBMother “F-er”Pi**ed offDi**headB*tchWhoreC*ntB*st*rdSh*tD*mnH*llThese are the only ones I can come up with off the top of my head and I am not one who swears! I know beyond any shadow of doubt that there are others. I have yet to understand what value they add to our English language, or any language for that matter. They don not sound pretty. They do not make a person feel good to say or to hear them. They make no sense at all. They are not uplifting and inspiring. This language is not permissible in most school papers and essays (thank goodness). Churches teach against swearing and using God’s name unwisely. Many older people like my parents’ or Grandma’s age, just shake their heads when they listen to today’s youth talking. Look how far we have sunk with our language since they were teenagers!Often times, cussing is a language said in anger, out of anger, and it’s meant to hurt whomever it is spoken to. It is a verbal assault from one person to another. When you cuss at somebody, you are verbally slapping him or her in the face or punching him or her in the gut. Now, if you were to hit somebody, for any reason, you likely would wind up under arrest because of the harm you have done to him or her. Cussing is one way to assault people where we will not be arrested. Telling somebody to “F” off is no different from slamming their head against the wall or punching them in the gut. You are not arrested for swearing at somebody and verbally abusing them. Just to say these cuss words – even to write them – makes me cringe and I feel shame inside! Yes, I have used the “F” word once or twice – but always felt horrid afterwards – I felt as though I had been drug through a mud hole. Yet there are people who use these words as often as I use the words, “neat, wow, cool, awesome” and so on; and it does not faze them! It is just a freedom of expression and they have grown accustomed to. These cuss words have become common expressions in our society, because, sadly, we have allowed it to happen.Turn on the TV or rent a movie. Listen to the language our “heroes” are using. What are our children to learn from all these cussings, cursings and goings on? Listen to a CD or turn on the radio and see what kind of language your kids – and even you are listening to! What words do your favourite actor or musician use to express themselves in their songs? Who are you modeling your life after? What exactly do you want your children to learn? What are you hoping to get out of it yourself? Do you need these words to make sense of your day? Is it necessary to go so far? I really cannot think of anything good that comes from cussing.Next, we have to consider the feelings that come from saying and receiving these cusses. Has anyone ever told you to “F” off or said “F” you? Makes you mad does it not? Makes you want to lash out at the person who said it to you. I have had both of these phrases said to me. In fact, I’ve had most of the above said to my face. The first few times I heard it, it really hurt my feelings and I was so shocked to hear it. “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me,” is an utter and outright lie! Name-calling hurts just as much as any physical pain one can endure. Sometimes emotional pain is harder to heal than physical because there are no visible wounds to the eye.Have you ever recorded a conversation you had with close friends or family? I would suggest sitting down and taping an evening conversation with family and friends. The next day, listen to the tape and see what language you and they are speaking. Don’t tell them you are taping it – just so there is no façade. It will likely surprise you and may hurt both your heart and your ears.Most of the time when cuss words are used, they are said in anger. It’s intention to verbally harm somebody. I’ve never heard anybody us the F word for a good reason or to celebrate. Anytime anyone cusses or uses profane language, they are angry, irritated and possibly looking for a confrontation.I don’t know about you, but all these cuss words that we allow in our society today, offend me. I find them offensive and unnecessary. They don’t add any type of value to our language, morals or standards. Call me old-fashioned if you like. I’ll gladly take that title over that of today’s youth or adult. Whatever happened to manners and considering the other person when you spoke?We often talk about cleaning up our streets from all the litter and garbage. That is a great idea. Why do we not clean up our language first? Talk the way we value our selves and our lives and where we live. Next time you are talking with somebody, listen to what you are saying. Be attentive to the expressions you and the other person are using. What kinds of words/phrases are you presently using? Do you need to clean your mouth out with soap? What language are you speaking?